♥My Story♥
Well, if you have made it this far into this website, you are probably looking to find out about my story. This is my journey around the gamut of religions and faiths and back. It is my hope that this story might help someone to see that no matter where their minds or hearts have taken them previously, they can always come back to the Lord!
My story starts out with my parents. Now when I refer to my parents, I refer to the grandparents who adopted me when I was just shy of my 2nd birthday. My mom had been raised as a Lutheran. She did not read her Bible often, or if she did, she did not read it where I was able to see her reading it. My dad was raised as a Methodist, but he was not religious at all - in fact, due to some things that happened to him during World War II, he did not believe in God. So it is no surprise that I was not taken to church as a child. However, around the time I turned 9 years old, I got this idea that I should be going to church.
This idea came from the fact that none of my friends could play with me on Sundays because they were all busy with church and church related things. None of them were even home to play with me. So I figured that I should be going to church as well - at least then I could hang out with other kids if I went to Sunday School. So my dad took me to a Methodist church. It is funny to look back and realize that even though he no longer believed in God and was not religious, he would automatically take me to the religion of his childhood. :)
I took Sunday School classes there, I had a little kids' Bible that was New Testament only (that's all the Sunday School there taught), and I learned all about Christ. I then graduated at 10 to the "big kids" class, where I was given a full Bible by the church (all the kids were presented with one), and then became an acolyte - basically a candle-lighter - for the church services. I also became involved in the children's choir at the church. I was very happy with the church - but then came a decision - I had to decide between Girl Scouts activities and church activities. I had been trying for years to get my parents to let me be in Girl Scouts, so I chose Girl Scouts. At that point, I stopped going to church.
Fast forward about a year - my dad had a stroke and we moved to Iowa to be closer to his family. My birth mother lived with us (her parents were the ones who adopted me) and the Mormon church missionaries started to come around the house. Come to find out, my birth mother had been converted to the Mormon church during a hospital stay, but had become inactive. But the missionaries here in Iowa convinced her to go back to church, and convinced me that their church was the best church to be a part of as well. I was baptized into the Mormon church on Jan 2, 1988.
I attended the Mormon church off and on until 2003, while I lived in Texas. In July of 2003 I met a new friend at a job I had taken. She and I hit it off, and discovered that we both had an innate curiosity about Wicca. This curiosity turned into the study of Wicca for both of us, although she kept her roots in her Episcopalian faith that she'd had since she was a child. However, I released all semblances of Christian faith and identified myself as a Wiccan. Once I moved back to Iowa from Texas in 2005, I continued to identify myself as a Wiccan. I found online groups to help me further my faith, I performed rituals, cast spells, read Tarot. I thought I was happy.
Then in July of 2009, I lost my job, I lost my apartment, and I moved in with my best friend and her mom. Rule #1 in their home: no Wicca practice. I could still identify myself as a Wiccan, they couldn't stop me from that, but I could not cast spells, read Tarot (well, I could read Tarot for myself, but no one else, and only when no one else was around), or hold rituals. I also had to go to church with them at least every once in a while because otherwise, I'd miss out on the main meal for Sunday.
After a while I realized I was no longer happy. I didn't really have any desire to hold rituals. I didn't really have any desire to read my Tarot cards. At first I attributed it to the ruts that some of my online Wiccan friends had been saying they were in. So I started going to church and Bible study with my best friend and her mom regularly in March of 2010. In April, I prayed the prayer to ask for God's forgiveness. I still didn't feel quite like I'd found where I was supposed to be. Something still wasn't right. Until the end of the month - the last Sunday service - as they were praying, I just started to thank Jesus & thank God for all they had done for us - for all they had done for me - and it was then that I fully realized that I had finally found the faith I had been missing.
I've been told that once a Wiccan casts a spell, once they cast a circle, that they are too far gone to be saved. That they can never be saved, nor forgiven for what they have done. I am living proof that this is not the truth. No matter what you have done, no matter how far you have gone, you can be saved. God will forgive you. But you have to ask for it. You have to let him know that you are sorry, you have to tell him that you know you have done wrong. You have to ask for that forgiveness. Believe me, it will make a difference. Please, do not ever think that you cannot be saved. You can.
